Friday, August 13, 2004

I'm Not Laughing with You, I'm Laughing AT You

One of my roommates and one of my best friends work as lab techs at a large biotech firm in the Bay Area. As the nature of lab work requires a lot of sitting around and waiting for shit to incubate, they--along with the rest of the people they work with--have a lot of time to kill. Because everyone works pretty closely and because they are all a bunch of nosy bitches, the lab as a whole gravitates toward shit that one or two people have found to occupy their time.

Last year it was browsing the "Missed Connections" and "Casual Encounters" sections of Craigslist. This year it's setting up profiles on Friendster and Match.com, trolling for suitable mates, and sending them through the vetting process that is the ruthless public scrutiny of everyone in the lab.

The other night, I was chatting with my roommate and she started showing me some of her co-workers' profiles as well as those of the people some of her co-workers have either "winked" at or gone out with. Like anything else on the internet, the cross-section she showed me ran the gamut. My favorite? A 28-year old guy whose unsername is "Puppysmile."

Anyway, she told me I should put one up because it's funny to see who "winks" at you and partly, I'm sure, because she wants me to get a girlfriend. So I did.

www.match.com

my username is naparker

have fun

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You know, and screwed up as your profile is - you'll probably be contacted by someone who saw you at IKEA.

/The Swede

August 13, 2004 at 6:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I liked the part best about looking for a labor/constrction worker. Pets that you don't have but "like": Gerbils, hamsters.

"Maybe it's their long flowing manes. Maybe it's their sinewy musculature and regal nature. Either way, they are large mammals just like me."

And I suppose you're insinuating you're hung like a horse?

Where is it you live again?

August 13, 2004 at 6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You would be amazed at how entertaining an experience on match.com can be. Never knew how many crazy people there are out there.

I am gonna wink at you!

August 13, 2004 at 7:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude. Post a link to the profile.

I'd rather lodge an icepick up my dick than browse that site.

- CaptCapital

August 13, 2004 at 8:02 PM  
Blogger dusty said...

yeah.. an icepick OR take a puppet out to the bar.

-schlute

August 13, 2004 at 8:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Naseera Khan will probably send you a "wink" with an Urdu message attached sayin "Assalam Valeh Koom"

August 13, 2004 at 8:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think I saw a picture of Stydie? Good work. The only way to scare more people would be with thethe XgataX/joe picture.

-PE trainer

August 14, 2004 at 6:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I want to move to Cali, and court you.

August 14, 2004 at 11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're the gigantic guy in Brian H's old avatar, I always assumed that was a major college or professional defensive end he had his arm around. your head is 2x the size of his.

August 16, 2004 at 7:49 AM  

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